About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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