It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
