I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
