im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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