Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
