discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
