Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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