oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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