I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
