it hurts more in the daytime
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I understand Curling. That high.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The Olympian is in my bed
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
