nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
