I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
