When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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