i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
