I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
she peed on how many people?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She's the barista slut.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
