I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize