My hand turned me down
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
