We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
