He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
