I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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