Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize