just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I look better un-naked...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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