you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
