Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
