addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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