battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
