and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
