yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
if only i could text you this smell
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
