Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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