i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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