im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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