My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
