dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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