I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Never underestimate the power of titties
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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