She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize