Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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