We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
