i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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