I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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