He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I need to calm my uterus...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
