I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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