it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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