using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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