Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
