I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
