Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
