dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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