Plan B is the new Plan A
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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