I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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