Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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