how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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