so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she told me i tasted like america
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My penis needs a shock collar
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
