We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
