I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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