he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize