Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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