So drunk its hurt
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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