I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
