I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
