So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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