youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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